Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014, now you see me!!

Remember last year I asked for a better year than 2012 that turns out it didn’t go as I expected earlier. Then I realized that good things will come when u make things good. 2012 is indeed my best year so far, but looking back to how life’s going during 2013 has finally reminded me that it’s going better. 2013 isn’t my greatest year but surely it’s a good one. Things aren’t go well casually but the way we face it that makes it good. And the most incredible part of 2013 is knowing that God send me wonderful people to accompany me during my (so far) hardest time. There is always somebody –either accidentally or intentionally- who always help me solved the problems or made the right decision.

Welcome 2014..
Now Im so ready to face whatever happen the upcoming year just like how exciting I was everytime getting to a new class during the school period.

This year, I don’t wish for a good year anymore, I wish for a year of unimaginable challenges instead..


Monday, October 14, 2013

Sourire :)

"Smile, you don't own all the problems in the world."

Been dealing with all the problems that come up continuously from the beginning of the year, this quote has strengthen me a lot lately.. Idk why things are going harder till I felt like "Im not ready to face all these matters".. I wish I were a teenager just like years ago.. But then I realize, if I didn't step out of my comfort zone, I wouldn't grow..
"Sometimes we felt God’s playing a joke on us but if He didn’t, we wouldn’t learn to walk"

 Lately I figured out that people around me do have their own problems.. The fact that they face even bigger problem has banged my mind.. And yes, finally I realize it’s not the problem that getting bigger, but when you keep thinking about it over and over again the more stress and pain you get.. and now I try to get back the smile, though all the matters still tangle around my mind

“Some lessons are best learned through pain. Sometimes, our visions clear only after our eyes are washed with tears. Sometimes, we have to be broken so we can be whole again. Remember: If God made the day to be perfect, He wouldn’t have invented tomorrow.”

Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 : Turning Point Timeline

been a while since the last time I took care of this blog
and hello the very last day of 2012..

it's been a very memorable year for me
the biggest turning point of my life so far: leaving the 4 yrs university life, leaving the 18 yrs 'student status', starting to reach my dreams...

as I entered the university 4 yrs ago, i've noted 2012 as a special year.. yes, GRADUATION! that's all I thought about at that time
but as the time goes by, it's no longer only about graduation.. all the 'after university plan' came up and kept changing during the 4 yrs

it's funny how suddenly at the beginning of 2011, a rumor about doomsday in 2012 came out.. idk what people think when hear it.. me myself directly thought about the graduation and imagined how if it comes on my graduation day, it would be a historical graduation ever.. besides i thought about my dreams, if the doomsday were really happened in 2012 so I wouldn't be able to be a real architect, and all those 4 yrs are just in vain
but luckily, the rumor said it would happened on 12-12-12 or 21-12-2012 so that means even if the doomsday really came I would hv worked for 'bout 2 months
and another lucky, we're still alive now guys.. we still have time to get our plans before the real doomsday *so keep stay alert*

so back to the topic..
being the same 1 year, 2012 has brought me to an adventurous life that it feels like i've been through more than 1 year
starting from the beginning of the year: final year project, abroad internship, thesis, final judgement, graduation, and the last starting work life..
can you imagine?? all those greater event in my life happened in 1 year, 2012!!
I'll never forget this year.. let's say it's my turning point
this year gone extremely fast that i cant even breath for a while to get a total rest thought
still remember one of the experience while i hv to submit my fyp report (that supposed to be done longer in order to get perfect result) but at the same day i hv to start my internship.. So w/out having any sleep & even no breakfast i rush to reach the office bcause it's been very late.. fiuhhh *hope it's just once in my lifetime*

flashback to what i've finished this year, here is a memorable timeline from where i start to choose architecture as my life

people said, life is like a wheel, sometimes u're at the top but sometimes u may be at the bottom
all the good things happened to me during 2012, but surprisingly the worst thing ever in my life came to close this year
something bad happened at the end of the year, and this made me realize that what we have and what we get are just entrusted goods from God.. we're nothing once God wants to get it all away from you
everything happened for a reason.. i know for sure, it's not a bad thing actually. I got lots of lesson over the incident.
Luckily it happened still in 2012. I consider it as a warning to start a better new life in 2013 and the following years

So afterall, let's say WELCOME 2013!!
have a greater year..

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Mind Disposition

this post with full of my random babble, so if you don't wanna get irritated, just close the tab now *i've warned you*

graduating isn't only about happiness, satisfaction, party, presents, etc..
especially when it comes to univ. graduation..
i'm in the most critical stage in my life.. time when i have to decide everything related to the following years of my life..
it's not only "where to work?", but blame myself for being a detail-concerned that the 1 sentence can evolve into hundreds questions in my mind.. let say it may diverge into what field of job - how the work goes on - which job is better - how much salary - what country - what city - if jakarta, which part? and so on....
okey that's just (actually) one thing.. but apparently as a grown up person I have the other things to decide, now! everything related to my after--university-life *i'm not gonna write it here of course, just let it drawn over my own mind*

If my life were a journey, I'm now standing in an intersection where there are some paths in front of me. I would never know what's in the end of every path but all I know that once I choose the wrong path I will never be able to move to the other path, unless I go back to the starting point..

So, of course I don't wanna my life goes back to this point anymore someday.. that means, I need to choose the best path for continuing my journey.. But the biggest problem is that the strongest path in front of me right now seems unable to meet all the things that I want..

The most stereotype advice that I heard from people is "find your passion" but I think, how come someone has only one passion in their life?? since childhood, I have too many dreams and so does the passion.. or maybe I haven't find my (real) passion so that I'm too busy catching this and that around?
I know there's nothing perfect, if I get one thing I have to leave the other thing
But can I just try to reach almost all the things that satisfy me?? I always wished I can get a job that combines arts, counting & logic, and money at the same time.. and right now I don't have any idea of a great job that can combine it well (maybe if it exists in this world, it would be such an intense competition to get it) *btw lemme know if any of you get an idea of what job which combines it well*

You might be confused why I think and consider this matter too serious.. well I realized that I've been grown up that even one simple decision may causes a great impact to my life.. and it happened unconsciously that I'm getting considerate of everything. for example while i wanna buy a small-20k smthing-agenda.. I think extremely long. When I saw smthing nice, I asked to myself is it really nice - is every part of the agenda really nice - is it the best one - what about that one - do I really need an agenda..... hmmm okey, when the last question comes up I usually end up cancelling to buy the stuff *such a waste of time observing the stuff* actually not that long as you know that our brain process everything so fast, but I need at least 5-10 extra minutes to think everytime saw something nice
And sometimes I wanna smile when remembering what my mom often said when I was child "someday when you have earned your own money, you'll realize how difficult to get money that you'll think when you wanna buy something"
Yup, that's totally right, mom.. I'm feeling guilty for easily ask my parents to buy this and that, finding so many unimportant stuff piling up in my house.. sure you know how a kid can easily swayed by a good-look-stuffs, NEVER think before ask for something
but now the condition turns 180degrees that my mom is the one who always brings over me on buying stuffs -____- but it's okey as long as you buy it for me mom :p

So get back to "thinking and considering" matter, I just found 2 sites that relate to it
the first one is a youtube video that actually i've ever watched before, guess you must also know it.. Strangers, Again..
I post it here because recently I just watched it again and at the same time I found a blog post that relates to the story in the video, I Cross You by Valencia (The Dancing Fingers).. I'm not gonna repost it as it'll be better if you read it directly by yourself..
So to be honest I don't read it deeply, just do a flash-blogwalking-read.. but mostly I catched it most resembles to what the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" books by Joshua Harris (1997) tells about..

What I want to say here is the way I face everything in my life up till now just "take it for granted".. I realized that every decision must be well considered, whether it really matches to our long-term plan..
Just like what those 2 writings tell about, we must plan our final destination and what we have to do to accomplished it just keep holding on the destination while making every decision (in this matter, the 2 writings especially discuss about relationship and marriage), otherwise we may end like the video's story, back to starting point...

right now i'm feeling butterfly on my mind (not stomach!). I mean I'm still confused on what to decide..
wish me luck for all the things, hope i'm gonna choose the best path :)

Monday, September 17, 2012

Graduation: Ending or Starting?

Time flies..
stereotype, yet indeed true..
flashback to years ago, piece of joke while we were in a deadline of final assignments:
A: "udah ngeprint display belom?"  (eng: "have you printed the display?")
B: "udah ngumpul report donk"  (eng: "I've even submitted the report")  #joke1
C: "gw udah fitting kebaya"  (eng: "and I've done kebaya's fitting")  #joke2

I always smile when remembering those jokes. Realizing that now the kebaya has already worn, and it'll be just a memory..
(for non-Indonesian readers, kebaya is Javanese traditional clothes. Most of the universities in Java ask their female graduates to use it on the graduation day)
1 short day that will be our most wonderful memory among the 4 years :')
turning our life from a students for about 18 years into ............. (I leave this one blank, let the time bring us to our respective way)

Happy, sad, heartwarming, satisfied, worried..
that's how I felt over the graduation.. if you've ever passed this stage, you must be able to explain each of those feelings..

and here's a bit of happiness depiction that captured by the lens

Graduation Rehearsal 06.09.12
(Gladi Resik Wisuda)

Graduation 07.09.12

Thank God finally the last 4 years end up nicely with transforming my name officially into

Vera Araminta Wahyudi S.Ars

This title not only just a name addition, but this means that I've exchanged my time with knowledge.. Something that has to be accounted for.. Though I haven't decided where will I bring this thing on the future.

No other thing I could say except THANK YOU :)
Thank you my God, my parents, my sister, lecturers, bestfriends, highschool friends, Ars '08, Ars UI (senior & junior), and everyone...
Thank you for everyone that has been filled my college life, thanks for lemme understand that life isn't that easy as when we're in highschool..
thanks for leaving a good lesson, that every person has their own inclination and we have to determine our own way..
Now lemme start a new life with new people in a new place, and keep those 4 years as a memories that had shaped me this way..

and thank God for this one, my only goal for college life (the simplest goal in my school life history)
just to make my parents proud of me, and simple self actualization..
it might be just an ordinary thing for some other people, maybe some other people can achieve it easily
but I don't care, this is my goal, as long as it has been accomplished I feel satisfied
I don't strive hard anymore for this time.. Though I can get a better GPA if I work harder, but I feel too bored and tired already with all these stuff..

and another regret comes while remembering I've refused the second chance of studying in the univ that I've been craving for when I graduated from highschool.. just because I've felt so comfortable and I'm afraid I can't continue studying architecture (*that univ doesn't have any architecture major)..
I've even said to my dad "I give up, let me stay here and maybe someday my sis will be the one who realize it" but my dad answered "no, u're the one who will make it" :')
I'm feeling guilty everytime remember that I keep choosing what I like than following what my parents planned for me.. I might get a better education there, if only......... (okey, people said, regret always comes late).. sorry my beloved parents, I promise will do better from now on :)
So after all, graduation is the end of a studying period as well as a starting point of a new stage of life..
never stop surviving, never stop studying..
we still have a long way towards our real end :)