Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Mind Disposition

this post with full of my random babble, so if you don't wanna get irritated, just close the tab now *i've warned you*

graduating isn't only about happiness, satisfaction, party, presents, etc..
especially when it comes to univ. graduation..
i'm in the most critical stage in my life.. time when i have to decide everything related to the following years of my life..
it's not only "where to work?", but blame myself for being a detail-concerned that the 1 sentence can evolve into hundreds questions in my mind.. let say it may diverge into what field of job - how the work goes on - which job is better - how much salary - what country - what city - if jakarta, which part? and so on....
okey that's just (actually) one thing.. but apparently as a grown up person I have the other things to decide, now! everything related to my after--university-life *i'm not gonna write it here of course, just let it drawn over my own mind*

If my life were a journey, I'm now standing in an intersection where there are some paths in front of me. I would never know what's in the end of every path but all I know that once I choose the wrong path I will never be able to move to the other path, unless I go back to the starting point..

So, of course I don't wanna my life goes back to this point anymore someday.. that means, I need to choose the best path for continuing my journey.. But the biggest problem is that the strongest path in front of me right now seems unable to meet all the things that I want..

The most stereotype advice that I heard from people is "find your passion" but I think, how come someone has only one passion in their life?? since childhood, I have too many dreams and so does the passion.. or maybe I haven't find my (real) passion so that I'm too busy catching this and that around?
I know there's nothing perfect, if I get one thing I have to leave the other thing
But can I just try to reach almost all the things that satisfy me?? I always wished I can get a job that combines arts, counting & logic, and money at the same time.. and right now I don't have any idea of a great job that can combine it well (maybe if it exists in this world, it would be such an intense competition to get it) *btw lemme know if any of you get an idea of what job which combines it well*

You might be confused why I think and consider this matter too serious.. well I realized that I've been grown up that even one simple decision may causes a great impact to my life.. and it happened unconsciously that I'm getting considerate of everything. for example while i wanna buy a small-20k smthing-agenda.. I think extremely long. When I saw smthing nice, I asked to myself is it really nice - is every part of the agenda really nice - is it the best one - what about that one - do I really need an agenda..... hmmm okey, when the last question comes up I usually end up cancelling to buy the stuff *such a waste of time observing the stuff* actually not that long as you know that our brain process everything so fast, but I need at least 5-10 extra minutes to think everytime saw something nice
And sometimes I wanna smile when remembering what my mom often said when I was child "someday when you have earned your own money, you'll realize how difficult to get money that you'll think when you wanna buy something"
Yup, that's totally right, mom.. I'm feeling guilty for easily ask my parents to buy this and that, finding so many unimportant stuff piling up in my house.. sure you know how a kid can easily swayed by a good-look-stuffs, NEVER think before ask for something
but now the condition turns 180degrees that my mom is the one who always brings over me on buying stuffs -____- but it's okey as long as you buy it for me mom :p

So get back to "thinking and considering" matter, I just found 2 sites that relate to it
the first one is a youtube video that actually i've ever watched before, guess you must also know it.. Strangers, Again..
I post it here because recently I just watched it again and at the same time I found a blog post that relates to the story in the video, I Cross You by Valencia (The Dancing Fingers).. I'm not gonna repost it as it'll be better if you read it directly by yourself..
So to be honest I don't read it deeply, just do a flash-blogwalking-read.. but mostly I catched it most resembles to what the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" books by Joshua Harris (1997) tells about..

What I want to say here is the way I face everything in my life up till now just "take it for granted".. I realized that every decision must be well considered, whether it really matches to our long-term plan..
Just like what those 2 writings tell about, we must plan our final destination and what we have to do to accomplished it just keep holding on the destination while making every decision (in this matter, the 2 writings especially discuss about relationship and marriage), otherwise we may end like the video's story, back to starting point...

right now i'm feeling butterfly on my mind (not stomach!). I mean I'm still confused on what to decide..
wish me luck for all the things, hope i'm gonna choose the best path :)

11 comments:

  1. Great Post ,wish you luck ♡
    follow new ,mind follow back? :)

    Lovely Greetings xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful pictures!
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  3. i hope you will find what you want to do! anyways you look pretty on the last shot! <3

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